Some weeks ago I was at a workshop. We were given a list of values (Truth, Justice, Career, Art, Creativity, Tidiness, Discipline, Risk,…) and asked to choose seven that were true for us. What seemed so easy, soon became a challenge…
And out of those seven we had to choose three, our core values. (No, I have not chosen them, yet..)
I have been pondering these ever since. What are my values?
The first one that came to my mind, immediately, was this. I do not know if it makes the top three, yet, but it was the most obvious one.
Though when discussing this at the workshop, we all realised quickly: the values are hard to define because they mean something else to each and every one of us.
To me, this is what autonomy means. 🙂
It is my aim to be self-sufficient financially, so that I can choose how to live my life, live in a nice flat, book the vacations I want to go on, etc.
It is also important for me to have a job in which I am independent and make my own choices and am my own boss. I love this about teaching. The lessons I can plan freely, the tests I design myself, I vary the methods according to my instinct, I decide on the focus of my teaching. Whenever the system or someone from higher up in the hierarchy threatens this autonomy, it upsets me a lot.
Furthermore, I wish to stay autonomous in my relationships, too. My free spirit does not want to be reigned in by others. That means I like having no plans, deciding spontaneously who I would like to see and what we do. (of course, there are some people I always enjoy spending time with, no matter what we do 🙂 )
I have also noticed that one of my hobbies, going to the gym, suits my desire to be autonomous perfectly. I do not have a timetable to adhere to, I can choose which muscles to train, how many sets, how much weight. Total freedom. If I want to chat, I can – if I don’t, I just listen to music and keep my thoughts to myself.
I am absolutely aware, now more than ever, that this is the first that has come to my mind because for a long time, all my decisions were dependent on my relationship and what he wanted. Looking back I am shaking my head at this, but the girl in me did not know any other way.
However, she has come a long way, and this is awesome to realise, too 🙂
Hopefully, in my next relationship, I can be my own person and remain autonomous. (Though how that works is still a mystery to me…;) ).
.. to be continued.