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Weddingmania

… or how a day became an event.

Who does not know it: once you hit the thirties, weddings appear in your calendar like flowers on a meadow in spring. Everybody wants to tie the knot at a certain point, yet the 30-year-benchmark seems to hit hard.

What I feel disconcerting are two things: first, that more and more weddings seem like an event, and second, that maid-of-honors and best men are that event’s co-managers.

Locations to scout, decorations to choose and coordinate with the set color-scheme, timetable to set (church, no church, reception, formal dinner, etc..?), menu to try and approve, white doves or firworks? or red- heart- balloons, a professional photographer to book that’s affordable, invitations to design and print and send off… decisions, decisions! The couple should take half a year off from work to have the time to do all this, or so it appears. It makes me wonder how much you actually need for this magical day.

Of course, the repercussions of an event of this size are felt by the maid of honour/ best man, too. There are speeches to write, games to invent and organize, throwing rose petals to consider, or rice, or whatever, meetings to hold, dresses to buy according to a colour-scheme (or not) and you generally help out wherever you can. And, obviously, the stag or hen do needs to be dealt with – an event itself, it may seem: weekend trips to Amsterdam or Italy or Berlin with 48 hours of programmed fun. Yay.

I may seem old-fashined, but what happened to weddings? What happened to the joy of a simple “I do“? When did this day become less about the most epic promise a man and a woman can give each other and more about making the day unforgettable? What happened to inviting the ones that accompanied you in the good and bad times instead of people you know/ want to impress/ feel obliged to invite? What happened to choosing the maid of honor because she is the one you want to witness this promise as she is the person that understands you best, instead of the one with the best organizational skills?

I wonder what would happen if everybody put that much dedication and attention to details in their relationship and choice of partner.

Don’t get me wrong – I do not pledge for a wedding in jeans and a white tshirt (although this also seems kind of charming to me, especially with a flower in the woman’s hair. 😉 ) and no celebration whatsoever of this day. I just feel that the focus should be inwards more, and not on how to make this day special and impressive and outstanding compared to others.

After all, the wedding day is just one day, the first of many to come. And I bet neither will it be the most beautiful nor the happiest one, unless we live in Disneyworld. If you are lucky, I guess, and however believe in this promise, it will be one of many more beautiful and happy ones – I do .

Author: carasmelody

daydreamer, hopelessly hopeful, I love the power of words, I love poems, words are soulfood

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