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Who I am
is an insecure 16- year old girl
crazy in love with him
and deliriously happy in this relationship, so happy it sometimes scares this girl – because what if he leaves?

Who I am
is a girl full of scars
crazy scared sometimes of new ones
and tempted to build up walls and react in fear,
and sometimes fear sneaks up on her and old habits get triggered

Who I want to be
is the woman that trusts herself to be him worth giving it all to
sure that she handles whatever comes her way
and believing it is gonna be fine

Who I want to be
is the woman that can let go and be free and enjoy herself
sure that she will come back to him, as will he,
and believing we will always be

There are days I am both.

***

At the weekend, I had one of those moments, when the 16-year-old took over the reigns. Not a pretty picture. It reminded me of the depth of the world inside of me, and that I am a work in progress, never really done. The road seems long and it makes me wonder if or when I will be able to be who I want to be?

Author: carasmelody

daydreamer, hopelessly hopeful, I love the power of words, I love poems, words are soulfood

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