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Age πŸ˜‹πŸ™

A friend of mine recently celebrated his birthday, and we both noticed that our current age always comes as a shock to the both of us. We have actually known each other since we were kids, I think I was twelve or thirteen the first summer I got to know him and his cousins and friends in Italy on the beach. The period of time seems so long. πŸ˜‚ He expressed that in his mind he was stuck being still twenty-something, despite being a father of two and sole breadwinner of the house. Honestly, I could not say for myself…

However, if you ask me, I definitely do not feel like 34. Or maybe it is more correct to say I do not feel like I think I should be or feel at 34.
To my mind, being over 30 represents and has represented a period of seriousness, of getting your life together, making all the life-changing decisions and settling down, being steady and, I don’t know, maybe boring?

Regarding my over-30 life, it can be described like this: not boring. πŸ˜‹πŸ™πŸ˜‚πŸ˜πŸ˜„πŸ˜ I do not feel like being serious, I am still playful and at times feel incredibly young and foolish. I just like kidding around. 😁 It may seem like I have my life together, but these last years have taught me that this concept is deceitful in itsself, and too subjective to matter (to me, at least). To me, my life feels right, and so far, I have not bothered to define what β€œhaving your life togetherβ€œ means, nor do I feel inclined to do so.

I do not feel ready for big decisions that change my life in an essential way rn, because right now this life is awesome and mine. I will allow change to happen when I am ready, and life hopefully will go along accordingly, thank you very much πŸ˜‹

Settling down is something I have apparently done when I moved to Austria six years ago; truth to be told, my soul only settled this past year. Steady is a word I do not associate with myself, … it could be said I am steady enough to wait out a storm, if it comes my way.

To sum it up, I am hardly ever bored in my life (exception: some lessons at school) and so my life is not boring, at least not to me.

Does this matter? I have no idea. Personally, I feel being over 30 means I focus on my desires – what I want to be, to do, to have. It means I try to live my life the way it seems real to me, spend it with people I love (and myself) and activities that I enjoy… and stop worrying too much. It is gonna be fine, no matter what. It feels that I have moved out of my head and have come to cherish what I have created.

Seen that way, every year celebrated on my birthday is amazing. πŸ™‚ And every year spent with true friends is, too. Cheers!

Author: carasmelody

daydreamer, hopelessly hopeful, I love the power of words, I love poems, words are soulfood

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