In these times of the second lockdown, the exhausting 6th week of home schooling, of grey dark days and unpredictable weeks to come, I have found it utterly hard to focus on myself. Above all, it makes me sad to know I can not live the life I want, and angry that some choices have been taken away from me, and then my thoughts won’t stop and frustration sets in. 🙄
Yoga helps me to be still. Needless to say, I have needed many Yoga hours lately. 😊
And when I am still, I finally feel myself, under the anger, and frustration, and disappointment. Mostly I feel gratitude. Lots of it.
I am grateful I am loved.
I am grateful the ones I love are safe and healthy.
I am grateful I have dissolved old issues with my parents, and we have a warmhearted relationship now, through the distance.
I am grateful I have a job that fills my bank account, even though I hate online teaching.
I am grateful for all the people that keep me company and appreciate me in this life.
I am grateful I am healthy.
I am grateful I am not living alone, but together with my boyfriend and my cute cats.
I am grateful that the sun has been shining on most of my walks lately.
I am grateful for a lot of things that made me unhappy and I have let go.
I am grateful for all the rituals I have integrated in my everyday life that help me be me, like Yoga and meditations and my thankfulness diary.
I am grateful that I am now lounging in our comfortable living room, facing the cheerily decorated Christmas tree and all the lights and candles and decorations. Everything that makes me smile is awesome.
I am grateful that I see the world the way I see it, that my heart is open and my eyes bright, despite it all – and that my boyfriend helps me see the light if I despair.💕
(I could go on, but the salient points are there)
So yes, there is a lot to be grateful for, even though this year so many things do not go as planned – or are not planned at all, because why should we?! When life just laughs at our plans anyway.
And as long as I can sit here and know I am safe, I am loved, all is well in the end.💗 I wish you all a wonderful 2nd Advent, and hope all is well with you.