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I always need my mom

How many more times
do I have to lose you
and wait for you to come back?

Coz that is what it feels like
when you go to that place
without joy and time.

How many more times
do we feel helpless, the one who love you most,
and watch you slip through our fingers
like sand in our hands?

How many more times
do we observe and look for
signs of you in that empty shell?

Joy in your voice when I call.
Messages full of typos (thick fingers).
Generosity and warmth in your hug.
Even you telling me you want to be a grandmother, and to hurry up, you are not getting younger.
Glee in your eyes when you win at games.
Love in the way you talk about and to us.

How much I would give
to have any of those,
now, and to know,
I will have them tomorrow, too.

I don’t know how many more times
we will wait for you to come back,
push you to fight your way back,
watch you slip away, and have it start all over again.

All I know is you love me
and I love you,
no illness can ever change that.

So I blow kisses in the air many times,
and hope you feel them and know it, too.

Author: carasmelody

daydreamer, hopelessly hopeful, I love the power of words, I love poems, words are soulfood

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