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Pressed pause #1

After two weeks away from everyday life, the stuff I usually do, the people I usually meet, I feel like I have pressed pause for some time.

Hardly any input, demands, problems to solve, things to decide.
Just pause. It felt amazing to fly to Crete with no expectations and no plans. All I did was what I was in the mood for.

Therefore no, no diver’s course for me. No daily yoga. No list to keep track of how often I meditated or did sports. No monitoring my habits or thoughts. The only resolution I had for this vacation was: be kind to yourself, and others.

And I did. I was kind to myself, to my body and mind, to my boyfriend and to others. And I listened to the thoughts hurling around inside my head, without acting on them, as well as to the emotions surfacing and the vivid dreams I had. Just listened. Saw. Heard. No judging or hushing. Just listening.

Sometimes I did some sports, because I wanted to feel exhausted after doing Step Aerobic at 37 °, or I  participated in Yoga or Stretch classes, because I needed to be still and enjoyed the familiar vinyasa flows.
My boyfriend and me walked on the beach at night, or went for drinks;  we even booked archery, just to try something new, and together.

I did read lots of books, good ones and bad ones – and found designs in the clouds, and dreamed looking at the ocean.

All this empty space, in my mental calendar and physical life, was so good for me. A part of me regrets that I did not explore the island so much; yet I feel like I can breathe again and like there is room inside me and like my sense of self has been restored.

Welcome back, me. New roads to take, old relevations rediscovered, rest of the holidays to be appreciated. 🙂

Author: carasmelody

daydreamer, hopelessly hopeful, I love the power of words, I love poems, words are soulfood

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