Well, three months later, I kind of have a new label. Fiancée. 🙂
Which is so cool! Since we got engaged this past summer, my boyfriend – no, fiancé, sorry, I still have not got used to calling him that – and me have learned a lot about each other, and our relationship has changed, in a way, and stayed the same, in another way. Changed because there is a new depth there, a bond that is hard to describe; the same because we are still the same people, one of them with solid roots and one with solidifying one and wings, yet both dancing.
Sometimes I really can’t believe how lucky we are, to have kind of waited for each other, and held on. For this I am deeply grateful, as I am for the man by my side.
Naively, I once thought getting engaged was the big deal; it was always clear to me I wished for a simple ceremony, not an over-the-top one. Reality check? His wishes matter, too, and even if you want simple, there are tons of decisions to make. 😉
Therefore, these past few months of wedding planning, I have learned to melt his ideas for our ceremony with mine, and to really listen, so that our wedding is going to be a reflection of his wishes and my vision at the same time. It has been a truly great time, too, to scout locations together, have a food tasting with goid friends, to agree on dates and listen to a potential band/ duo, look for and buy rings and book a photographer and brainstorm ideas together. Plus, mostly our guts said the same about many decisions, so that our plans got very concrete quite quickly 🙂 We have met really wonderful people, the manager of our location and our celebrant only two of them, not to mention all the ones around us that support us with ideas and tips and connections. A huge thank you to all of you!
Of course, in some cases, unfortunately, advice and help has come with strings and expectations attached; we have thus learned to give those only minimal attention yet to firmly do it our way. It was not easy to do this with minimal damage to relationships … For us, this has meant to set boundaries again and again, an exhausting business, yet a necassary one, and one we have dealt with together.
Additionally, I have learned that I do want to wear a beautiful white dress, which my lovely sister and also maid of honour, and a wonderful friend helped me find (thanks again, bacini!!). It was a bit shocking, my free spirit self envisioned a completely different, rather bohemian version of a wedding dress, yet when I looked in the mirror wearing THE dress, I cried. Very movielike, yet overwhelmingly real to me. Of course I bought it, and another friend is keeping it for me in her house (saying: what girl can say she had two wedding dresses in her wardrobe? 🙂 ).
It has been an adventure so far, and I am curious to see where it takes us. Next step: decoration and flowers. Can’t wait. 🙂