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My no- shopping resolution 2023

… another assessment of my progress ๐Ÿ˜‰

As you may remember, last summer a colleague and friend of mine and me decided to try not to shop.

My last assessment covered September and October, I believe… ๐Ÿ˜‰ But how did my resolution go afterwards?

In November, I did not buy anything. No clothes, no shoes, no bags, no jackets, … ๐Ÿ™‚

In December, I bought one decorative candle holder for myself. I did not need it, I know that. I had not broken another one. I daily walked past it in the shop’s window on my way to school for at least two weeks before I went it and bought it for myself. (and one for one of my closest friends) I just love it ๐Ÿ™‚ It is white with a fox on it and cost 14,90 โ‚ฌ.

Considering this is the Christmas season, I bought presents…. however, they are not for me and this year I purchased few and mostly consumable ones, like chocolate or something to drink or herbs for cooking. I must say, this Christmas season has been a truly relaxed one. ๐Ÿ™‚ For some friends and colleagues, I created handmade Christmas cards… just because ๐Ÿ™‚

January has only just begun, and so far I have bought a bag to transport my yoga mat on my bike- never had one, so this is a first buy and useful. Cost 25 โ‚ฌ, organic cotton (or so it says on the lotuscrafts website).

I am curious to see how well I do 2023…. ๐Ÿ™‚ However, my wallet and I agree that this resolution is awesome.

It frees me to know I have everything I need.

Fairy lights promise

or: Yoga under the Christmas tree ๐Ÿ™‚

The lights on the Christmas tree are shining
when I roll out my mat next to it;
and the sky’s colours are changing
while I am doing half splits.

The clouds first turn pink, then orange, then fade into darkness,
while I return into downwardย dog after sequences;
and the cats are rolling around on the couch in happy bliss,
while I am breathing in the silence.

The thoughts I can hear are my own now,
when I tune out the world;
and what I feel blooming inside me
is a hopefulness that only a child can feel.

Letting go plus Yoga

I don’t know about you, but if someone tells me to “let it go”, in me I automatically feel… resistance. Stubbornness. “No way.” – ” Why?” and a kind of resigned feeling that this will be hard.

And thus already this “concept” of letting go has always stressed me out. Puh. I don’t want to start on how the process itself has always made me feel…

Today is the first day that letting go was a topic that gave me peace. I have signed up for Online Yoga Classes with yesterday, with a teacher I met first in October during a weekend Yoga retreat in รœberlingen. She strikes me as someone totally centered and with a very open heart.

This week’s focus during her yoga classes was “letting go”. Imagine my joyful reaction upon hearing that first thing this sunny Sunday morning. Yay. – However, my experience was totally surprising!!! Not sure because I trust this particular instructor, or if it was just time.. ๐Ÿ™‚ Anyways, I would like to share it.

We were invited to lie down/ sit in meditation and see what would come up that we would like to let go – a person, a feeling, a habit,… .
(me: my guilt about living a happy life in Austria far away from my parents/ hometown)
Then, we were asked to let it surface and look at it, really see it (whatever we wanted to let go). No judging allowed.

As a next step, we were encouraged to see the positive side of what we feel we need to let go – and this was new to me. So far, I have always thought of why I would like to let go of something or someone, why I might find it hard, what was still holding me back; or I have envisioned my future without “it” and tried to kind of get myself there. Never have I asked what is positive about what or who I would like to let go…. it made me open my heart, and dissolved something.

And finally, we should ask ourselves if we were ready to let go.
Answer “Yes”: imagine you carefully pack what you want to let go in a package, place it next to you. Important: outside of you = next to you. Practice Yoga. Maybe it will have left when you are done.
Answer “No. Not yet.” Breathe. Accept you are not ready.

To be honest, I was not ready to let my guilt go. For the first time in forever, however, I have seen that there are some positive sides in this “feeling guilty”: I love my parents a lot and want them to be happy; I wish they lived closer and I’d see them more; another is that I love my hometown and my roots and sometimes miss both terribly, as I do the people (family and friends) in my life in Germany.
Not sure if anyone but me can follow, but well, it was my epiphany, after all. ๐Ÿ™‚

During Yoga and some Asanas which I found challenging, I noticed where my body would happily go and where it was not ready. And it gave me a strange kind of peace.

Have a great Sunday, everyone!

Three months later #1

This writer’s break kind of invites me to take the time for some well- used retrospection, doesn’t it?

Plus, it is december, the last month of 2022, so in a way the anticlimax and the time to softly accept the end of the year and prepare for a new one. Happy to.

What have I learned, what have I become?

Hm, what is the most obvious answer? I have lost nearly 6 kilos thanks to Mady Morrison’s Summer Body Challenge between the beginning of August and mid September: 30 days of hard work and strict changes in my daily nutrition. Exhausting, in times frustrating and utterly rewarding! Afterwards, I have made the not so small effort to keep my weight – so far successfully – while still enjoying life. Puh, even harder ๐Ÿ™‚
I have learned that I missed regular exercise and pushing myself, as well as the feeling of being comfortable in and with my body. Whenever I exercise now, doing Yoga or a fitness video or going for a long walk, I feel appreciative and grateful for my body.

Moreover, I have kind of been training/ interning in our school’s administration. When the idea to do that popped in my head this spring, I simultaneously shook it. No way. Me. Computers. Programs. Technical stuff. Puh. However, something inside me pushed me to talk to our admin, and he agreed to show me stuff. Let me tell you, the beginning of the school year behind the scenes? C r a z y! What I have learned is even crazier: I love solving administrative problems, I love seeing results, I enjoy being challenged. Of course, I am grateful to my “mentor” for being patient and taking the time to explain processes, problems and systems in a way I feel I can follow. Mostly. ๐Ÿ˜‰ That, of course, leads to the question whether I would like to pursue this direction careerwise… to be pondered.

Last but not least, I have decided to act more regarding my rituals and routines and to thus really integrate good stuff into my daily life. I have learned that I am not the person to roll out her Yoga mat at 5.30 before school… however, on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons I can, and so I do. I have noticed after school I prefer slow flows or Yin Yoga, while I can push myself with Power-Yoga at the weekends. Additionally, I have tried to sit still for 10 breaths/ 10 affirmations (Laura Malina Seiler, 10 Affirmationen fรผr mehr Vertrauen in dich) daily after waking up – a ritual that brings me much peace and introspection. And, though this may sound simple, I have tried to regularly go for walks in nature, no matter what kind of weather we have. After a day teaching wearing a FFP2 mask all day long, there is nothing better to get rid of a brewing headache!

However, regarding this last point, it seems challenging to me to give my body/ myself what I need without thinking “Oh, I still have to do..”. Instead saying “Oh, I’d enjoy.. now.”

So, this is enough retrospection for a day.. I am curious what you have learned in the last few months?

# Gratitude today

I am grateful

that all my loved ones have survived the pandemic
as has my relationship – which has grown, too
that my close family has mostly been vaccinated
and is feeling good
that we live in a country of peace and are safe and sound
that I still have and love my job and my usual salary
that Yoga and selfcare have helped me keep my sanity
as have my loved ones and my amore
that my life is full
that on the days that feel grey I know I can start over tomorrow, as there will be a brand new day
that when the walls close in and I wish to break free I know that in my heart I am.

Thanks to Yoga with Kassandra – Morning Gratitude Yoga # amazing.